Disclaimer : I've struggled with writing this post for some time now. All last week I wanted to write about this, but 1. didn't have the time to and 2. didn't know how it would be perceived. So let me first say, these are my opinions. I am not trying to offend either party, these are just my thoughts on paper (well, I guess more online, but you get the picture lol). And second, I
fully support both sides. My mom was a stay at home mom and I loved it and loved having her pick me up from school everyday and being there to help me with my homework and volunteer in my classrooms. BUT, I also loved going to daycare. Now my mom being a stay at home mom, I didn't have to, but I WANTED to. All of my friends were there so I wanted to be too. So I have no problem with daycare and have no problem with working moms either, especially being one myself.
Now on to the post...
Last week by the numbers :
- 7 : the numbers of days in the week and coincidentally, the number of days I worked last week
- 168 : the number of hours in the week
- 68 : the number of hours I worked
- 40 : the number of hours I got paid for
- 42 : the number of hours I slept all week
- 10 : give or take..... the number of hours I saw Mason all last week
- 20 : give or take..... the number of hours I saw Seth all last week
- 9 : the number of hours I worked on Saturday and 10 : as in 10pm : the time I left work on Saturday
There's definitely something wrong with this picture.
Now this week was abnormal. I'll give you that. But when you have a little baby who is doing something new everyday and you don't want to miss anything, working even 1 hour over 40 hours is horrible. Now don't get me wrong, I'm all for helping when the help is needed and obviously I am willing to (and did) do it, but that doesn't mean that I have to like it.
I actually do like my job. I do like my co-workers. I like contributing to our family.
But when this is the only way you get to see your baby everyday, it's sad.
His new trick : flipping over in his crib!
I mean, he is a pretty dang cute sleeper but still, this week I had to wonder, is it worth it to be a working mom? Unfortunately I don't really have a choice because daycare is less than what I make a month so I have to work, but I just feel like I am missing so much. First, let me say, I love LOVE LOVE Mason. I cannot imagine my life without him. But right after he was born and I was home all day everyday with him, I craved some adult time. Some time where people could talk back to me and communicate and not just eat, sleep, cry, and poop. I think I was just overwhelmed with everything in the beginning and spending everyday at home because immediately I wished I was back at home. And now that he is doing so much, I wish I am back at home. And maybe once I finally have weekends off or I get to see Mason in person when I get home from work and not just on the monitor, I will go back to feeling better about working. But right now, I feel like I'm missing so much. Luckily, I have my amazing husband, who has really been amazing the past few weeks. I've had to work weekends for the past month (at least one weekend day) and have been working late nights for the past couple weeks which puts a lot more responsibility on him. I am so thankful for him because he is SO IN LOVE with Mason and SUCH a good Dad that while I'm sure he wishes I were home too, he never complains and instead just enjoys his one on one time with his boy :) SO LUCKY.
I just have to realize that there's always something that you are going to miss out on. No matter if you stay home or if you work. You could be at home all day with your baby and step away for a second to go to the bathroom and miss them roll over for the first time. So you might as well make the most of every second you have with your family and cherish every moment!
On to some happier news! The time I did get to see Mason and Seth this weekend was definitely cherished. Here are some of my favorite moments :)
Cuddles with daddy on the couch
More of Mason's new trick!
Just hanging out crossing his legs and watching the Super Bowl
Look at those LEGS! I love love love them :)