Autism


Mason was diagnosed with autism in April 2015 at the age of 2 1/2.

Over the course of the year + since he has been diagnosed with autism, I have written a few blog posts describing my feelings as well as just general updates on what has been going on since then and how our lives have changed since the official diagnosis. A few excerpts from my favorite posts :

(My very first blog post about Mason having autism. Fair warning - this posts makes me cry even to this day when I re-read it)

"...This diagnosis does not define you. You are still the same sweet, loving, caring, amazing little boy that we've always known. You are friendly, you are outgoing, you are fearless. You are a joy to be around. And your dad and I... we will make sure we give you every tool you need to grow, learn, and thrive...

... I never thought of myself as a parent of a child with special needs. But here we are, here I am. A parent of a child with autism. And while that might be true and we might have some hurdles we need to jump over, you, your dad, and I are no different than we were on April 8. And I intend to treat you exactly the same way I did on that day from this day forward. I am constantly in awe and inspired by you. You make me want to be a better mama. I love you more with every day that passes."




"...So, how am I really doing? I'm not sure. Like I said. This diagnosis doesn't define Mason. He is the same sweet, caring, loving boy that he was the day before he was diagnosed. We don't treat him any differently (as we should). On that day, we were given a piece to the 'Mason puzzle' and a tool to help us help him. I know this isn't a death sentence. He is not sick. But, I'm only human and I'll be brutally honest, I can't help but think "why me?" "why us?" "why Mason?". I'm sure someone somewhere thinks we can handle this and I know we can, but I still wonder, why. I think that is a normal question to ask. I mean it can be applicable for anything. It is common for people to wonder why...

... Day to day, I am fine. I am ok with the diagnosis, I had already thought it was coming. But in all reality, I was hoping I was wrong. Nobody wants anything to be wrong with their child, no matter how big or small. Nobody wants to be told, by a doctor, that their kid will need extra help."




Mason's First Visit to the Dentist.
"...So, overall, if I'm being honest, my fear and why I waited so long to make Mason's dentist appointment came true. I knew in my mind that the appointment would not go well (maybe that's why it didn't?? I need to use the power of positive thinking for next time!), but in general, I feel really good about the appointment. I LOVED the separate, private room. I LOVED the dental hygienist and the dentist. And I LOVED the overall experience and the fact that Mason will now know what to expect next time. I know what I need to do to prepare him better in the future and I have a very positive outlook on the fact that next time will be better..."


[Autism] Potty Training Struggles.
"...While potty training might have some easy to some moms and kids, it hasn't been that way for us. And that's ok. Every child is different. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't jealous that it came so easy for others. Do I wish that happened for us? Sure. Wouldn't we all? Maybe we should have started earlier? Maybe we should have pushed him harder? What if, what if, what if. One can't say. The past is the past. But I do know this. He is worth fighting for and I'll do whatever he needs...

... And now I am sitting here, writing this post, and all I can think about is crawling into bed with him and cuddling him and telling him how much I love him. In fact, as we were on our way upstairs to go to bed, I just sat down with him, looking in his eyes, and him looking in to mine. I started to cry and I knew he was confused but just looked at me with so much love.

Love. Caring. Compassion.

These are all emotions that most children with autism don't feel. I am so lucky to be able to experience it with Mason. Lucky. Blessed to be his mama.

I tucked him into bed and said "I love you so much, Mason."

And he said "I luh you Mommy. Guh-Night!"

And right then my heart burst into a million pieces and I knew... I must be doing something right."




To see all of my posts on autism, click here.

      


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