True Life : I Live with a Little Boy

Thursday, October 16, 2014

As you all are fully aware, I have a little boy.  This is no secret.

But this post is not to inform you that he is a boy, this post is to SHOW you that he is ALL boy.

And if what I am about to tell you is any indication of what my future holds, we are in for some serious trouble. Full disclosure : this post may be graphic (not in pictures, but in description)

A couple weeks ago Tuesday, Seth had a softball game at 8pm so he left the house around 7pm which meant mommy was in charge. It seems like something exciting always happens when I am left fully alone with Mason so I don't know why I thought this night would be any different.

After Seth left, we played for a while and then I turned on an episode of Mickey for him to watch before bed while I checked my email and set up some bills to pay. I was paying attention to what Mason was doing and looked up every so often to make sure he wasn't getting into too much trouble.

At one point, he walked over to me and I could tell that he pooped. It was about 10 minutes until his bed time so I made the decision to let him finish watching the show and then I would take him upstairs to change him, brush his teeth, and read a story before bed.

I looked down for a second and looked up and what do I see? Mason is sticking his hand in the back of his pants.

Really kid? Really?

I tell him no. He takes his hand out. I look down. He puts it back. I tell him no. He takes it out. This goes on for a good minute. So I decide that the show is over and it's time to go upstairs. I know this trick. This happened once before and someone ended up with poop all over his hand and someone ended up screaming NO NO NO! I'll let you decide who was who.

So as Mason is climbing up the stairs, I notice the smell is getting stronger. I think, yikes, this will be a doozy, and then I see it. POOP ON HIS FINGER. I start freaking out inside because I think he put his finger in his mouth.
Oh my gosh!!! Did he? No... doesn't look like it...wait... DID HE????

I let him finish climbing the stairs, pick him up, put him on the changing table, wipe off his finger with a wipe and proceed to get ready to change his diaper. I tell him not to put his hand in his mouth because it is dirty and what does he do? Put it in his mouth. 
How naive of me to think he would listen!

I pull it out and the conversation goes as follows :

Me : Mason! Don't put your hand in your mouth. It is dirty.
Mason puts his hand in his mouth. I pull it out.
Me : Mason! I said don't put your hand in your mouth please. It is dirty.
Mason puts his hand in his mouth. I pull it out.
Me : Mason! Please don't put your hand in your mouth. It is dirty. It had poop on it.
Mason puts his hand in his mouth. I pull it out.
Me : Mason! Your hand is dirty. It had poop on it. Poop is yucky!
Mason puts his hand in his mouth. I pull it out.
Me : Mason! Please don't put your hand in your mouth. It had poop on it. You will get sick. You will throw up.
Mason puts his hand in his mouth. I pull it out.

By now, he is laughing. LAUGHING. Giggling so loudly and cutely. 
Laughing every time I pull his hand out of his mouth.
In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. He thinks it's a game.

It was seriously SO HARD to keep a straight face while Mason was laughing so much.

I tried to keep a straight face and tell him to look into my eyes so he knew I was serious, but let's be honest, I was probably not very convincing. Since I hadn't taken off his dirty diaper yet, I picked him up and took him to the bathroom to fully wash his hands so I at least knew they were clean when he chose to stick them in his mouth again.
Little victories.

Can someone please tell me why it is so hard to discipline a toddler? It's like they know. 
I did something bad so I need to be extra cute so I don't get in trouble.
Touché Mason, touché. It worked on this mommy!


  1. Lol. Oh my goodness. One time one of my girls smeared poop on the wall during nap time. That was... special. ACK!

  2. Oh I'm DYING!! This just might be all kid, instead of all boy! Some kids are obsessed with poop, others are obsessed with freaking their parents out (ha ha!) and a small amount of kids are scared of poop and being messy. I'm pretty positive Mia is in that last group (she can't handle being messy, we have to wipe her hands and face multiple times through meal time) but I'm sure she will get me back in another, disgusting and horrifying way, HA!

  3. HA! Oh yes, the joys of boys. Butts, poop farts, and all are just a joy to them!

  4. LoL. So true!!!! Disciplining a toddler is so HARD because they know just when to spring on the cuteness!!! This is completely comparable to Lily sticking her finger in the goat's bum and asking what it was before sticking it in again. These toddlers, I swear!

  5. oh man it's so hard when then laugh or think it's a game! It makes me madder so I'm glad u kept your cool!

  6. HA! We haven't quiet had THAT experience, but we've certainly had our fair share of, Oh-my-gosh-GROSS moments!
    Toddlers *do* know! I'm sure of it.

  7. Oh toddlers... Aren't they fun?!!! Haha. It's funny because I think we all have our share of toddler poop stories!

  8. Hahaha! YUCK!! Toddlers are hilarious. And totally disgusting! I completely feel your pain on how to discipline a toddler. It never goes well. Someone recently told me that when you tell them not to do something ("Do not stick your hand in your mouth"), all they hear is "hand in mouth" and they can't help themselves. You're apparently supposed to tell them what to do, NOT what not to do. So, next time try saying "keep your hands on your legs" or "hands in the air" and see if that works. Make sense? Let me know if that works for you because Mac's too smart for that trick! :)

  9. ugh, Aria does the same thing if she poos at night in her crib. It is always my cue to run in there and change her diaper. Gross. Pretty sure she hasn't tried to taste it though...vom. The last time she needed a diaper at night she actually sat up looked at the monitor and said poo mom poop poop. I was like yay!! That I can do.

  10. Boys and poop! Thankfully noah has not done this yet!

  11. Oh gosh, that was so funny! And gross. I know what you mean though - you tell them not to do something, and they proceed to do just that. And yes, it can be SO hard to keep a straight face when they're laughing and smiling :)


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