An Ode to the Single Mom.

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

This past weekend, Seth, his dad, our brother in law, and our brother in law's dad all went to Arizona to watch some Angels spring training games. I was left home alone with Mason from Friday - Sunday. The only other time this has happened before was last year when the boys did the same thing. Don't get me wrong. Mason and I had a blast. And I LOVED having one on one time with my boy. But I'm also not gonna lie. It was hard. I mean, I've taken care of Mason by myself all day when either he was sick and I stayed home with him or when Seth works on the weekends at the swap meet. BUT he's always home at night. Which is always comforting. I mean, I totally live in a safe neighborhood, but there's just something about a man being home with you, you know, just in case. Hell, I woke Seth up the other morning because there was a giant spider in the shower and I am terrified of spiders. #nojoke

I've always admired the single moms (and the moms whose husbands work outside of the house more often than they are home) and wondered how they did it day in and day out and so this post is dedicated to them.


Dear Single Moms,

I'd like to start this letter off by saying that you are AMAZING! No joke, I don't know how you raise tiny human(s!) by yourself day in and day out. Seth was gone last weekend from Friday - Sunday and I just about kissed that man's feet and hugged him for 10 minutes straight when he walked in the door. And I only have one kid. Holy moly.

Single parents, I give you mad props for doing this day in and day out. MAD. PROPS.

My weekend of solo parenting started off on Friday when Seth left at 5am and I was left to fend for myself to get Mason to school and me to work... all by 7am. I thought I had it all figured out. My boss was in Florida for the store manager's conference. One of my supervisors requested off - I approved it - months ago. I figured I could have my other supervisor open and I could come at 8am. No big deal. Crisis averted. And then... she got a second job and had to work on Fridays. PROBLEM. I don't even know what time Mason's school opens in the morning (I think 6:30am?) but I knew there was no way in hell I could get myself up and ready, Mason up and ready, him dropped off and me to work all by 7am. Nuh uh. No way. But I wanted to try to do it all myself. I racked my brain for an idea. And then I asked for help. SO insanely thankful for Nanny who came to the rescue. I got myself up at 5am, only hit snooze once (compared to twice on a normal day lol), and was up and in the shower a whole 9 minutes earlier than normal. I got out, got ready, got my lunch ready, and Mason... snoozed away. Go figure. On the day we needed to leave early. I opened his door, rubbed his back to try to wake him up, grabbed his clothes, forgot half his stuff like 5 times, checked and double checked his bag, rubbed his back again, and then gave up and just picked him up while he fell back asleep on my shoulder. I got to her house about 6:20/6:25am, dropped him off, he waved bye to me (clearly sad I was leaving lol), and headed to work. I got there slightly before 7am so all was fine, but I couldn't stop slightly freaking out in my head the night before wondering what would happen if Mason got sick and I couldn't go in? Who would open? Could they even open the store? Thankfully that didn't happen, but I couldn't stop wondering... how do single working moms do it day in and out? Single working moms with big responsibilities at work where tons of people rely on them. What do they do when their child is sick? I mean, I guess they would call out, but then what?

All was good at work, but I checked my phone like a million times to make sure the school didn't call to tell me Mason was sick and I needed to get him or something. (Clearly have a paranoia problem). I made it through the day and then it was time to go get Mason. Traffic was horrendous as I expected but I finally made it. Traffic getting in the parking lot was horrendous which I did not expect. But that's a post for a different day. I picked Mason up and he was so excited to see me. He waved bye to his classmates (unprompted from me - SO cute!), we paid for his speech class from that day, and we left.

We got home and all of a sudden, I was in charge of dinner. OH NO. I don't cook. Nuh uh. No way. So what's any good mom to do? In n out to the rescue! We hopped in the car, drove thru in n out, and were back home in time to have a picnic of in n out and Planes : Fire and Rescue. And then as soon as the movie ended, we were up to the bathroom to take a bath since I realized after taking off Mason's socks that he must have been painting with his feet since his socks and toe nail crevices were totally green. Splish, splash, all of the water out side of the bath, a little snuggle time, and it was time for Mason to head to bed.

selfies for daddy
stealing fries before we left the car // in n out picnic while watching Planes : Fire and Rescue

I felt like I was winning after day 1, but in reality, I was only really alone for 3 hours. I was slightly scared that I would be afraid to sleep alone while Seth was gone, but by some miracle, once I fell asleep, I was out. Day 1 was in the books.

On Saturday, I set my alarm for 6am so I could wake up and get ready before Mason woke up. I still haven't mastered the showering while Mason is awake thing since I so infrequently have to do it without some sort of back up. I always think 'maybe, just maybe' and then I know that if I gave Mason the iPad to play with and brought him in the bathroom while I took a shower, the iPad would either end up in the toilet or the shower and neither option ends well for the iPad. Side note : how does anyone do this? I'm afraid all hell would break loose if I left him unattended downstairs and obviously I don't think the iPad in the bathroom option is any better.... 

So setting my alarm was the better choice. And thankfully, I was able to get up and get myself ready before he woke up. #winningonday2


We took some selfies for daddy again and then got ready and headed to Target. I don't usually buy him his own drink (in fact this is only the second or third time ever and I've been to Starbucks WAY more times than that for myself) but I thought I would splurge since we were on mommy/Mason weekend.


We came back home, I talked to my good college friend who lives in another country on the phone while Mason watched a show, and then we went to the park. It was a beautiful day and not too hot yet so we stayed out for about an hour just playing and exploring.


Oh, and we took another selfie for daddy.

We came home, had lunch, played a little and then Mason took a nap. We were supposed to go see a movie with Nanny and Mason's cousins but he snoozed through the beginning of it and we just met them for dinner. I'm always a little worried about taking Mason to a restaurant on my own just because you never know how he will be. He could be content sitting in the high chair or he could try to climb out every two seconds. Thankfully this time he behaved and ate pretty well. Emma was a HUGE help since Mason only wanted to sit next to her and she helped him eat and cleaned him off after his double and triple dipping his fries in ranch caused a bit of a mess down the front of his shirt.

After dinner, we played a little and then headed home and I put Mason to sleep. I was exhausted and thought I could stay up to watch a show about Disney cruises that was making me SO excited for our cruise coming up but alas I fell asleep on the couch like usual. Which brings me to my next question, how do single moms not go to bed RIGHT after their kids do? I mean, I love the 'me time' but I was so tired, I literally could have gone to bed at 8:02pm.


Sunday morning we took more selfies for daddy and ran some errands. I meal planned our dinners for the week and then we opened our #BoyMom Box Swap goodies and then went to mail a couple letters and then went to the grocery store.


We came home, I unpacked all the groceries, and we walked over to the park again. It was another beautiful day and we played and explored until it got too hot. We came home, had lunch, and Mason took a nap.

And around 3pm... daddy came home!

Overall, we both survived the weekend and I'm pretty sure I taught Mason how to "cheese" for pictures so I consider the weekend a win, but I am still so, SO thankful for Seth and to be able to do this parenting thing with him. We've talked about it often, that we are so thankful for each other, and that we are so much in awe of the single parents who do it day in and day out with no help. I constantly felt like I was a mess and barely getting by. How you feed your kids, how you discipline your kids, how you plan activities for your kids, how you help your kids with homework or take care of them when they are sick, and the list goes on and on and on by yourselves all day, EVERYDAY is beyond my comprehension. I'm not sure this letter even gives you as many props as you deserve, but you are truly amazing people and you deserve the world.

PS this letter could just as easily be dedicated to single dads.... because I think you all kick butt as well! But being a mom myself, I dedicated it to the moms.


21 comments:

  1. Yeah I don't know how they do it either! The being alone at night thing scares me. We live in a safe town and have an alarm and I still made my mom stay with us the one time Chris was away on business! I also think it must be tough to not have that person to talk to at night that you know is totally on your side. Sure you talk to people at work or adults during the day, but can you 100% trust them with your concerns or secrets. And talking to a child just isn't the same ;).

    As for the shower... I've done many things! When we lived in the apartment and noah was little I strapped him into the high chair and had him watch tv. When we first moved to the house I couldn't leave him downstairs alone, so I had him play in the bathroom. I got him his own brush and stuff. Then he wanted to come in the shower with me so we did that for a while. Recently I've started having him sit on my bed watching the ipad. We have a gate at the top of the stairs so I know he's contained to upstairs. He also watches the iPad in the bathroom and I actually never worried about it going in the toilet lol. But if you're really worried, just shower at night after he's asleep?

    Let's just be thankful we have amazing husbands who help a lot!

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  2. I would kill mike if he had a job where he was gone a lot. Or if I was a single parent. Mad mad mad props to single parents -- and wives of firegighters (my friend who deals with her babes for days on end on a weekly basis). Because I need that reprieve at night SO BAD.

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  3. My husband was in Arizona too for the weekend, thurs-sun. And single momming blows. Honestly, though, most days he's leaving for the gym (before work) as we are all waking up 6-6:30ish, and he doesn't get home from work until 6:45 when everyone is getting ready for bed, but I totally agree about having him there at night is such a difference. He travels for work here and there, but I don't know how military wives or single parent's do it.

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    1. Oh and he went to a spring training game too, diamondbacks though. Phillies spring train in FL :(

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  4. Yes! Single parenting is tough! I am such a baby about it when Conor travels for work!

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  5. Super mommmmmmmm! I'm so glad he got to come to AZ, but super bummed you all didn't come ;) (of course Mia was sick all weekend so we would have missed out on the fun anyway) It really is SO much work doing the whole shebang by yourself- I've done it many times since Mia was born and the minute Eric finally does walk in the door?! Oh the RELIEF! So yes- mad props to single parents everywhere!!

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  6. You are awesome! I seriously can't imagine doing it all on my own. Huge props to those parents!

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  7. I am right there with you! I don't know how single moms do it. Scott is usually gone a few times a year over weekends (usually camping with friends), and I typically plan something in advance, so I'm not by myself all weekend. Usually we go visit grandparents, and having other adults there and extra sets of hands is SO nice! And I completely agree about going to bed by yourself. I like having my hubby home at night and I don't like when it's just me in the big bed. Thankfully neither of us has any desire to be away from our house or each other that often (and we don't travel for work), so we're both at home the majority of the time. Great post! And so, so jealous that you have in n out - YUM!!

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  8. First off- go Angels! And I totally agree with you, how do they do it?! My mom is my favorite single parent but I may be biased ;) Even though it was hard, I bet you came out feeling like Wonder Woman, am I right?

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  9. My mom was alone most of the time and worked full time. I don't know how she did it. Sounds like you have a successful and fun weekend!

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  10. As I read this I am sitting in the airport, as I have ditched Jeff and Reed for a whole four days. I hope he rocks it as much as you did.

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  11. Girl, you are such an awesome momma!! Since it's not normal for us either (single parenting), I feel like SOMETIMES Tys usually steps up when we're on our own, like he 'knows' I need his 'help'.
    I definitely wouldn't CHOOSE to be a single parent. Dang. Sounds like it was a successful weekend though, but glad Seth is back home. :)
    As for showering, while on maternity leave, I'd just have Tys shower with me, get a few of his bath toys and he'd just play with them in there (because I was still nervous having him alone with Harp). Now back to work, when Dan is gone, I just get up earlier and shower before they're up.

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  12. It is even harder when you go from more to less. You know exactly what you are missing haha. But, I think with anything parenting wise - you just do it because you have to. Chris worked his double jobs I think a year and a half ago now or a little less....Aria didn't see him but the one day a week. It was exhausting. But we got use to it. I think 3-4 months. Then he got pulled in officially to the second job but worked crazy amounts of over time so we saw him about the same, but he at least got more sleep. One day weekends. Then the overtime slowed and he had two day weekends but was working a split shift during the week. Now he has the regular ol 7 to 330 deal mon to fri and if he has to do some overtime I'm like oh woe is me!!! And really we've done much worse before, but you get use to having the help!! It is hard to take it away ha. But you survived!!! You made me want a burger though.

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  13. The single mom gig is so hard. They are some very strong women. You kicked butt friend it looks like you and Mason had an awesome weekend with lots of special mommy time.

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  14. I totally agree! I think about single moms all the time. Nate leaves for work at 5 am every day and doesn't get home until after 6...so I do almost everything for Mason. Not complaining, but it's a lot of work! Anyhow, sounds like you totally rocked this weekend! You go Mama!

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  15. Single parents deserve mad props.
    When Scott is out of town for work for a few days I always feel like the wheels are half off by the time he comes home. And, whenever Scott is gone for weeks at a time I always make sure one of the grandparents can come out for a few days, or I go back home. There are just too many hours, and I have no idea how the single parents fill them all without losing their marbles!
    But, it sounds like you and Mason had a pretty awesome weekend to yourselves!

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  16. I love all the pictures, looks like some quality momma/son time! I agree, I do not know how single mothers do it! My mom was one and I know first hand how amazing they are!

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  17. You know I think it's harder when you aren't used to it. When it's your norm you develop routines and systems and it's not so exhausting. I mean it is exhausting but it's different. Oh and the bed thing? Yeah when Jake travels at least twice a week I was in bed as soon as Callie was asleep (I still can't sleep until I know she's asleep werid i'm sure). It sounds like you guys had lots of fun, stayed busy but had some special moments too! And take out and LR picnics are made for special mom time!

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  18. I can't even imagine how difficult being a single parent can be!! I bet it can be so hard! Looks like you two had a great time though!!

    Thanks for linking up with the Saturday Spotlight, and congrats on being featured last week!!! :)

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  19. I love this post, It is hard having hubs be away for any length of time ( I know because my husband does go away for a week every 5 weeks for work) I used to call this my single parenting week and then someone pointed out to me (I think it was my sister) that it's actually nothing like being a single parent... Yeah we don't physically have our husbands there but we have them to talk to (even if it's over the phone in the evening) we have their support and encouragement. Imagine going through that entire week and not having a co-parent, someone to lean on... actually being alone? Crazy how much your perspective strengthens hey? I hope that this comment didn't come off as rude because I actually did LOVE this post and I definitely think having your partner away for a week is definitely a taste of what being a single parent would be like... I just always think back to my sisters comment :)

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    1. I guess you did kind of mention that at the end... I'm so bad for commenting before I finish reading the post!! HAHA! You're brilliant and way more intuitive than I was :) I'm glad you guys got through the week!! XO PS I get take out at least one night when Adam is away!

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