It was Saturday morning, August 29, 2015, around 11:15am. Mason was at his ABA class and Seth and I were on our way to go to the bank and then to Seth's mom's house to drop off some snacks for her to take when she picked Mason up that afternoon. Seth and I had plans to go out to lunch and do some beer tasting for our friend's birthday. The car ride started off normal. We stopped at the stoplight off our street, waiting to turn left to head down the street to Seth's moms. Seth was driving my car and I was scrolling through Instagram or something on my phone. The radio was on. The light must have turned green and Seth started going and then IMMEDIATELY slammed on the brakes. I hadn't been paying attention since I was on my phone, but this alerted me and I immediately looked up. And what did I see? A car go ZOOMING extremely fast RIGHT in front of us. Keep in mind, our light had been green for a couple seconds now, which was why Seth started going. I am just SO SO THANKFUL that he happened to look to the side or happened to see out of the corner of his eye that the car coming from our left wasn't stopping. Their light was full on RED and they were not stopping.
Him jamming on the breaks shook the car a little since he had just started going and then slammed on the brakes so hard. I took a moment to process what happened and immediately asked him if he was ok. He said he was. I looked to my right and saw the car driving down the road, they appeared to be braking now (umm a little too late lady) and maybe just realized what happened. At this point, we started driving and heading down the road like we had planned. Seth was visibly shaken, completely understandably. And now, at this point, I think I fully processed what just happened and what COULD have happened and I got upset. Seth asked me if I was ok and I said I was, but the more I thought about it, the more I started to freak out and think about what could have just happened, and I started to tear up. Thankfully I was wearing sunglasses so Seth didn't even know (until now). All I could think about was "we could have died". I think I even said that out loud and Seth said that no, we wouldn't have. But seriously, we could have. And all I could think about was Mason. BOTH of his parents would be in the car and would be gone. AND we have no will. And that's when I really started freaking out. We could have died and what would have happened to Mason?
Needless to say, I plan on getting us a will soon (speaking of, if anyone has advice on how to do this, that would be appreciated. Do I need a lawyer? Are there kits? How do I get started?).
It just boggles my mind the things that people do while driving. I mean, I'm no angel, I'll admit that. But when you're going 40+ mph down the street, I don't think that's a good time to be texting, looking for something in your purse, or changing the radio station. I've done all of the above but WHILE AT A STOP LIGHT (which, yes, I know, doing anything on your phone no matter where you are, if you're driving, is illegal). I asked Seth if he could tell if she was texting or not and basically all he knew was that it was a youngish looking girl. But I'd have to assume she was doing something in order to just blow through a red stop light like that.
Anyway, I don't want to be Debbie Downer here in this post, but I did want to document -- I am SO SO SO THANKFUL for whatever made Seth look to the side or whatever made him see that that car was coming and that he slammed on the brakes. I always try to look both ways and make sure I see the cars stopping because I've seen one too many people blow through red lights before, but for some reason this one just hit me a little harder.
SO. THANKFUL. that I am the one here typing this and telling you about what could have happened rather than you reading somewhere about what did happen. It can only take a second to really put your life into perspective.
ps I promise to be back tomorrow with happier news :)
Omg that is so scary! Glad to hear you guys are okay! We just got our will done this summer. I've heard you can get a kit but we used a lawyer. They can range a lot in price based on the complexity. Ours is textbook and just says who gets physical custody of noah and who overseas the trust we leave to him until he's 18. I literally emailed the lawyer we found in town all the info- names, addresses, etc, and she drafted it. After we approved it we finally went to her office to sign it. Now it's sitting in a fire safety box in our basement just in case. I hate thinking the worst but am so glad to finally be prepared. The harder part may be agreeing to who gets Mason. They usually ask to put a backup as well so you don't have to change the will if something happens to the person you chose.
ReplyDeleteWe need to get a will in place, because of what if's and because James travels so much. You just never know.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you and Seth are okay, that you are here to share your experience and not in fair worse condition.
I am glad you are ok. It really does shake you to the core. We are in the process of doing this exact same thing. We have decided to stay in the house we are in and we want to get everything in order for Lia and for peace of mind. God willing we will never need to get it our of our fire box. Check out Legal Zoom - its online and easy to get started.
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Oh my gosh so scary. Utah drivers have a really bad reputation and sadly it's because there are a lot of really bad drivers here. You can always write down what you want for a will for now, but it usually is a good idea to work with a legal expert Especially if you decide to set up a trust or other accounts for Mason.
ReplyDeleteOh gosh, that is terrifying!! Just another reason why it's so important to follow the traffic laws with phones as well. Could you imagine if Seth was on his phone, too, finishing up a text and just started going because he noticed out of the corner of his eye that the light turned green? Yikes! (that was really just a pep talk for myself to keep the phone in my purse!) I'm SO glad Seth was paying attention and has those quick reflexes! That could have been awful!
ReplyDeleteUNTIL you have your official will set up (noterized, etc) you can write on a piece of paper a basic will (where Mason and your assets would go) then you and Seth both print and sign your names. Make copies and give them to your parents, etc. That acts as your will until you get an official one put together!
SO thankful Seth looked!!! I couldn't imagine. that's why I never look at my phone when driving, especially with Sophie. Neither does Kyle. As for the will, I think you could even just type it up and then have someone notarize it. I don't think it has to be fancy. I wrote mine out when I met Kyle but didn't change it when Sophie was born.
ReplyDeleteliz jo @ sundays with sophie
I am dead serious when I say LA drivers (maybe SoCal in general??) are the worst. It is almost the norm to see 2 or three cars go whizzing through a red light at any given intersection.
ReplyDeleteI was in a pretty nasty car accident shortly after we moved here - Marcus hadn't been born, yet. I was hit head on, my car was totaled, and both bones in my right arm were snapped in two. It was probably one of the worst experiences of my life. And, honestly, if the lady wouldn't have hit me head on, and T-boned me instead, I have a feeling the outcome would have been a whole lot worse than a totaled car and broken arm bones. To this day I get a little nervous using left turn lanes (which is where my accident took place - the lady was using the turn lane as a regular lane of travel... UM, NO!).
With all that said, I am so thankful Seth was so quick to hit the brakes.
Yes, get a lawyer and get the will taken care of. That was the first order of business after my accident.
Soooo scary! Thankful that you both are okay!
ReplyDeleteUgh. So glad Seth is an awesome driver. :) People are terrible here with trying to get through lights and pushing their luck on yellows, that turn RED and they're still going..!! Hello people!! It's never worth rushing. YES, make a will - there are things online that can get you started, or forms to fill out with all things to consider or verbiage to use. Maybe ask your bank if they have any free services for beneficiary-like stuff? Or your insurance carrier? I heard once to write out your wishes (signed/notarized), seal it and mail it to for example who you've asked to be Mason's guardian in the event something happened to both you and Seth. Make sure they DON'T open it. IF something happens to you both, come time to figure things out, have the envelope opened in from of lawyers, whoever/legal, because it's been postage stamped (DATED) and contains your signatures, etc. NOW, not sure if there's any truth to that holding up in court but it's more dated proof on paper than your long-lost-cousin saying, 'they asked ME to take Mason and have their money..' I know it's not fun to think about but now that you have Mason, it's all in his best interest. :)
ReplyDeleteSo scary but so thankful you guys were safe! (Great driving, Seth!) I had a close call yesterday when driving home from the beach; some out of state driver cut me off right before a red light and the truck behind me almost rear ended me, so basically I would have been the filling of a three car crash sandwich. What gets me is ALL my babies were in the car (children and dog) and I had to take a minute and thank God we were fine. Yeah, how do you do a will? We obviously are behind in that area, oops.
ReplyDeleteI tell all parents, the one thing you should do and don't waste time waiting to do it. Is HAVE A WILL! If you don't the state can decide the fate of your children. We have had one since they were born and have changed it many times since life changes and people are in and out of your lives. Guardianship is the most important thing you can do for your child. Trust me Liz, a day not only changes your life, but changes your children's for their life. We used a lawyer because we wanted to be sure it was done right. Each state is different in their laws, trusts, etc. You will have to name someone you trust and who has the same beliefs and values in raising Mason. As a mother of a special needs child, consider HIS needs and who would best meet those needs. Seriously get this in place. Not meaning to be "mother hen" here, but after reading this, I can's stress it enough. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteWow. Liz. So scary. I had tears just reading it. It's amazing how much more intense situations seem to be with kiddos involved. So glad yall are okay. I see people flying down the interstate texting all the time. It blows my mind. I'm sure you hugged Mason a bit tighter that night. Big hugs mama!
ReplyDeleteHugs lady I have been in that exact same situation, tears and all. It is TERRIFYING. Courtney from Shiraz in My Sippy Cup wrote a really good posts on having a will done a while back. You might check it out on her page. They are pretty easy to do online for free too.
ReplyDeleteSo glad that Seth was so alert that day. God is good.
Oh what a scary thing! Glad you are both safe! I cannot even let my mind wander about something bad happening.
ReplyDeletegosh darn! People are damn crazy while driving. I'm so glad Seth noticed something so that he could break quickly. I got sniffly reading it. We haven't gotten around to getting a will yet either. Shame on us. I have no idea how to start though.
ReplyDeleteOh friend! I am so sorry this happened to you guys. It's so frightening that we have absolutely NO control over other drivers on the road. When my office was about an hour from our house I had to take major highways (that are known to be unsafe) and I would get anxiety so bad. All I could think about is what if I never see Mason or Nathan again? Ughhhh..it's so stinkin' scary. I am so thankful you guys are okay!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you both are ok. I cannot stand when people blow through red lights like that, and my husband and I don't hesitate to call the police on them. With texting as big as it is now, the number of accidents caused by that is just nuts. We don't have a will either but need to make one. We actually bought the Willmaker software, which walks you through setting one up. Then you can take it to a lawyer I think and have it be official.
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