[One Year and Beyond] When People Share Their Opinions

Thursday, May 29, 2014

When people share their opinions....
To be honest, I debated for a while on whether or not I wanted to share on this topic. I wanted to share, but I didn't want to offend anyone. Ultimately, I decided I wanted to share.

For me, when Mason was first born, people's opinions were of utmost importance to me. I was a new mom. I had two days of help in the hospital and then they sent me home with this little being that I knew nothing about. I had just met him! I didn't think I was qualified to take care of him on my own. But sure enough, mother's intuition kicked in and we were all just fine.

 Mason was not an easy baby. Well he was, but he wasn't. I had a rough start. Definitely not as rough as some people, don't get me wrong, and I don't want to take away from anyone, but Mason having been my first baby, it was rough for me.

Shortly after he was born, I found out that I couldn't breastfeed. The whole story is a story for a different day, but basically I didn't produce enough milk to sustain him. I tried pumping, a lactation consultant, taking supplements to increase production, everything. It didn't work. So I supplemented with formula. We chose Enfamil Newborn. Mason liked that for a while and then it seemed to upset his stomach. So we switched to Gerber GoodStart. That was fine for a while and then it seemed to upset his stomach.

Mason would just keep crying and crying when we would feed him and seemed inconsolable. It was heartbreaking. And frustrating. I had no idea what was wrong. I felt like I was doing something wrong because I couldn't make him feel better. I finally called the pediatrician after talking to a few people because I figured either he was sick or maybe his formula was upsetting him. His crying wasn't just crying, it was screaming, like someone was hurting him. I would try to pat him on the back, thinking he had to burp or had gas and that's what was hurting him, and he would climb up my shoulder and dig his nails into my shoulder and neck, like he was in so much pain. It was awful. So, I called and made an appointment with the pediatrician and luckily, they had an opening a couple days later. I told Seth, who was at work, that we were able to get an appointment on Friday (which was his Friday to work) and he said he would be there. At first I was confused because I knew he had to work, but he asked his boss if he could have the day off (thankfully he has an amazing job and an amazing boss and is able to just ask off the day before and his boss lets him). He knew how bad Mason was feeling and how hard it was for me to see him like that, so he took initiative to take the day off. He was a lifesaver. 

At the same time, THANKFULLY, I had been talking to my friend Brooke and she gave me some insight. It started with me asking about something completely different, her answering that question and then just randomly asking about the symptoms that Mason had. Her son, Carter, had had the same problem. He had silent reflux.

So we went to the pediatrician on Friday, and I had printed an article that Brooke had sent me and highlighted his symptoms - gulping with a painful look on his face, wet sounding burps, coughing, frequent hiccups, sudden bursts of painful crying, poor sleep habits, poor eating habits, arching of the back and neck after eating, excessive fussiness and crying, wants to be held all the time. I was afraid the pediatrician wouldn't believe me since it's silent and he wasn't spitting up a lot, but once I mentioned the arching of the back, he immediately agreed and prescribed Zantac. Thank goodness! 
Turns out Mason had silent reflux also. (Side note : if you click that link, please remember that was from when I first started blogging :) The blog has come a long way since then!). Silent reflux is extremely painful. It was where he would spit up, but instead of spitting it out, he swallowed it. So it hurt going up...and back down. Poor boy. I can only imagine. I know how painful it is when you just throw up, let alone it being acid reflux. 
The pediatrician also suggested that we just add Zantac and not change his formula (Gerber GoodStart) but after a few days of the same (seeming to be in pain), I couldn't handle it and changed his formula to Similac Alimentum aka liquid gold. While I'm sure my pediatrician knows what he's doing and what he's talking about (that's why he's the doctor, right?), I'm so glad we decided to switch his formula when we did and not wait. Mason was instantly happier and things were back to normal. When we found out about his silent reflux, to be honest, I was happy. I FINALLY knew what was wrong with my baby and how to HELP him. Without the advice of a friend, I would have never even know what silent reflux was or that I should mention it to Mason's pediatrician.

Even way back when he was born and we were having the formula/silent reflux issues, I did what I thought was right for my son. And while maybe I ended up spending more money than I needed to on the special formula, my son was HAPPY and HEALTHY and that was what mattered to me. 

(trying out the big boy seat at Babies R Us)

When we wanted to transition Mason to a big boy car seat, people said it was too early. He was probably 6-7 months old. Mason HATED his infant seat and I knew I needed to do something. He would CRY and SCREAM when we put him in the car. Every. Time. We found something that was right for us and was safe for how old he was/how much he weighed, and we transitioned (and he sat backwards). Mason could not have been happier. I no longer dreaded going in the car with him.

And there have been other times. I've asked for advice on...
types of diapers
how to help transition from sleeping in the pack n play in our room to his crib alone in his room
when to start and what to start with when introducing solids
types of bottles
how and when to transition to cow's milk and sippy cups
and tons more.

There have been lots of times that I asked for advice, got it, and then did or didn't take it. And there have been times when I didn't ask for advice and was given it. But, after all the opinions are said and done, to me, the only opinions that matter are mine and my husbands. We are Mason's parents and we know what is best for him. Don't get me wrong, I totally appreciate the opinions that are given by others, so if I don't/didn't take them, please don't be offended. I asked because I care and wanted to know and then I took all things in to account and did what I thought was best.


Linking up with Sara from Running from the Law, Ashley from Words About Waverly, Courtney from From Here to Eternity and the other lovely co-hostesses of the One Year and Beyond series.


  1. It's so hard to sort out opinions and advise and figure out your opinion sometimes. It sounds like you guys did a great job figuring it out! Silent reflux sounds AWFUL! Callie had reflux but it was at least obvious with all the spit up. And she hated her infant car seat too and we moved her around 6/7mo as well. I think maybe it was the angle/reflux? I've met a lot of moms whose babies had reflux and had the same issue. :)

  2. I'm a firm believer in the "every child is different" school of thought. I love hearing what other moms do, and trying new things, and reading books. Buuuut at the end of the day you know your babe and what will work the best! So switching to a big car seat is just a good decision ;) sanity my friend. We all need to do what it takes to keep it!

  3. Aria lasted a good bit in the infant car seat because she was so small at birth, but we transitioned her and it was amazing. She loved the convertible, I wish we would have done it earlier. Our particular one has inserts for a newborn of a certain weight, so we could have switched much sooner. I think kids just enjoy the big car seat so much more!
    So awesome that you were giving some great advice about the reflux. Aria spit up SO much when she was a newborn but the ped said it was just fine, but I thought it was excessive but also didn't know what to do about it. So we just cleaned it up for months until she stopped doing it. I still wonder if it was an allergy to something I was eating because we were nursing. Shrug.
    I think getting advice is just fine, but it is totally dependent on each child whether it will be worthwhile to try. Just nice to have some techniques in mind that you can always pull from.

  4. Great post! I think we all have to do things our own way, and somethings are trial and error so it may take a minute to figure out what works. Doing whats best for you and your baby may be different than others and I think thats great.

  5. I am so proud of you. Proud to call you my friend. Proud that you now know that you really do know best. You know what is best for your baby. You are an amazing mother! Amazing. I Love you!

  6. As parents we not only know our child best but we are the ones with them the most. And as I've learned each child is so different. So while someone's advice may have worked for their child and is a valid opinion, we may know as the parent that it's not the best for our own child. It doesn't make their advice not right, just not right for our child. I agree to take everyone's suggestions and then do what you think is right.

  7. Love this friend! I agree with every word. Every child is different and you need to do what works for you :)

  8. Look at that little baby Mason, what a cutie!! I can't imagine seeing your sweet boy in pain like that with reflux. You're right though, I felt the same way leaving the hospital thinking, I don't know this person or what to do..?! But it's awesome how as parents, we DO KNOW what's best for our family. But also thank goodness for friends/family who share advice in a supportive manner and also understand what's best for you personally. :)

  9. There is no person who knows how to parent Mason like you and your husband. There were times I had tried everything and researched til I couldn't research anymore so I turned to friends and family. Sometimes, the advice worked and other times it let me thinking "WTF!". Parenting is a tough role but one that is so rewarding because you take something that you know nothing about and master it within record time.

  10. Newborn baby Mason shoulder fur!!! OMG!!! So adorable.

  11. Okay, first of all? You looked SO GOOD leaving the hospital! I was still super swollen and pretty much looked like death, ha ha!
    I LOVED this post! I love getting advice from family, friends and my doctor but in the end, I do what I think is best for Mia (and my sanity!) Even if it means spending more money, or having others disagree with me. We have to trust our mothering instincts!! You're the BEST!

  12. OMG, that 2nd pic of Mason in the hat is SOOO CUTE! I haven't been following you very long so never saw tiny Mason pics. :-)
    I agree with all you said, every baby and parent is different and you gotta do what you think is best. You're eyeballs could fall out from reading all the "dos and don'ts" online. There is a link/story/article for and against EVERYTHING possible related to babies.


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